Top Ten Witty Comebacks for all Occasions
Here is a top ten list of snappy comebacks that you can use in most situations, from surviving a family dinner with your annoying relatives to pushing back on your obnoxious coworker. These comebacks are light enough that the person will still be speaking to you afterwards, yet give you peace of mind as you “judo” their comment back to them. Try to say these in a joking way, with a smile on your face.
- You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.
- Your inappropriateness knows no boundaries.
- I’m sorry but I didn’t order a glass of your opinion.
- I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person!
- There are 7 trillion nerves in the human body, and you are capable of getting on every one of them.
- If you’re going to be close minded… do you mind being closed mouthed as well?
- Some people are like clouds. When they disappear it’s a brighter day.
- Where’s your off button?
- If I give you a nice big straw will you go suck the fun out of someone else’s day?
- Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.
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