Top ten comebacks for someone who won’t shut up

Top ten comebacks for someone who won't shut up

Are you ever overwhelmed with the urge to tell someone to shut up?  Some people monopolize conversations, stopping any one else from getting a word in. Often the conversation hog doesn’t get to the point or goes off on tangents driving their listeners crazy.

If you can’t take it anymore, here are a few things you can say to let the windbag know that you have had enough.

  1. Some people just lack the ability to realize that everyone in the room wants them to shut up.
  2. You sound so sexy, when you’re not talking.
  3. You would be much more likable if it wasn’t for that hole in your mouth that noise comes out of.
  4. You know what’s funny. Not you, so shut up.
  5. It’s never too late to shut up and mind your own business.
  6. I love the sound you make when you shut up.
  7. If I wanted to listen to an asshole I’d fart.
  8. It’s time to shut up. If I wanted your opinion all of the time I would have married you.
  9. In case you didn’t see the look I just gave you. Shut up!
  10. Remember that time you shut the f*uck up? Me neither

Say it with a T-shirt

If I Wanted to Listen to an Asshole I'd Fart
If I Wanted to Listen to an Asshole I’d Fart

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Top ten comebacks for troublemakers

top ten comebacks for troublemakers

Have you ever had to deal with someone who is manipulative and loves to cause trouble? Troublemakers like to stir up controversy by spreading gossip and starting rumors about people, then they turn around and act all innocent claiming they were only trying to help the situation.

Here are a few snappy comebacks to let the troublemaker know you are on to them and their manipulative behavior.

Top ten comebacks a troublemaker

  1. Congratulations on your ability to create drama out of absolutely nothing.
  2. Don’t tell me what they said about me, tell me why they were so comfortable saying it around you.
  3. I see you brought your extra large spoon to stir up trouble.
  4. You don’t like drama? Funny how your name comes up as executive producer on every single episode around you!
  5. I  am returning your nose. I found it in my business.
  6. Stop creating a drama and then complaining about it.
  7. It is a actually pretty easy not to be a shitty human being.Try it sometime.
  8. So, let me get this straight, you talk shit about me then you make it into MY problem when I say something.
  9. If drama follows you wherever you go. Maybe you are the drama.
  10. I hope one day you choke on all the shit you talk.

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What to say when someone tries to make you feel guilty

guilt trip

People who engage emotional blackmail know exactly which buttons to press to make you feel guilty. Here are a few snappy comebacks in case you find yourself on the receiving end of a guilt trip.

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What to say when someone forces their religion on you

comebacks when someone forces their religion on you

Have you ever had someone try force their religion on you? They keep bringing religion up, not getting the hint that you’re not interested. Here are a few things you can say to get your point across loud and clear!

Let us know what you think is the best answer by voting for the poll below. If you can think of an even better comeback, then let us know!

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Comebacks for someone who always makes excuses

comebacks for someone who makes excuses1

Some people have an excuse for everything. Are you tired of someone in your life who’s constantly makes excuses for their behaviour? If you don’t want to hear lame excuses anymore, here are a few snappy comebacks you can say to shut the person up.

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Top ten comebacks for put downs

comebacks to put downs

Do you know someone who is always putting other people down? Next time they insult you, be ready for them by remembering one of these snappy comebacks.

  1. Those penis enlargement pills are working. You are twice the dick you were yesterday.
  2. I’d like to see your point of view but I can’t get my head that far up my ass.
  3. Oh, you think you know everything? Well here is something you don’t know, you’re annoying.
  4. If you have a problem with me, then cry me a river and drown yourself in it.
  5. You would be much more likeable if it wasn’t for that hole in your mouth that noise comes out of.
  6. I was going to give you a nasty look but I see that you already have one.
  7. I’d slap you but that would be animal abuse.
  8. In order for you to insult me I would have to value your opinion. Nice try though.
  9.  If you think you’re so hot, why don’t you go fuck yourself.
  10. I farted… that’s as close as you’re going to get to me giving a shit.

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Top Ten Comebacks for Bullies

comebacks for bullies

There is nothing worse than a bully; a bully is really a coward, who gangs up with others to torment people. May all the bad karma that bullies inflict on others come back and bite them in the ass.

  1. Too bad you can’t Photoshop your ugly personality.
  2. Thank you for your brilliant portrayal of a self centered asshole in the movie of my life.
  3. It’s impressive that you’re flexible enough to have your foot in your mouth and head up your ass at the same time.
  4. You should really come with a warning label.
  5. Breaking news just in: You’re an asshole!
  6. I finally got the last knife of the set you’ve been stabbing in my back all these years. Heads up: I re gift.
  7. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you a sociopath. I thought you already knew.
  8. Acting like a dick won’t make yours any bigger.
  9. Thanks for teaching me how sick and cruel a person can be.
  10. Since narcissistic is too big a word for you. How about asshole? Do you understand asshole?

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Top Ten Comebacks for Jerks

comebacks for jerks

We have all met a jerk who makes every situation difficult and  never sees that they are the problem. You don’t have to try to win over the haters; after all, you are not the jerk whisperer. If you get tired of putting up with the jerk and their nasty behavior, here are a few snappy comebacks to let them know they need to back off.

  1. Jesus loves you but everyone thinks you’re a jerk.
  2. Oh, I heard you. I just don’t care.
  3. Remember that time you shut the f*uck up? Me neither
  4. The jerk store called, they’re running out of you.
  5. I would love to insult you but I’m afraid I wouldn’t do as well as nature did.
  6. You’re the reason nobody likes you.
  7. You’re like a hemorrhoid, a pain the ass who won’t go away.
  8. Your dick belongs in your pants, not your personality.
  9. I love the sound you make when you shut up.
  10. How can I miss you if you won’t go away?

Say it with a T-shirt

If I Wanted to Listen to an Asshole I'd Fart
If I Wanted to Listen to an Asshole I’d Fart

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You’re such a bragger – Snappy Comebacks

you are a bragger

What’s a good answer when some jerk says to you, Stop bragging?“  How you answer of course it depends on who’s says it, and how they say it. Below are some snappy comeback to shut the smart ass up. Go ahead, and vote for the best answer. If you can think of an even better comeback, then let us know!

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What to say when someone asks why you ended a friendship

Why aren’t you friends anymore?

At some point in your life you may need to move on from a friend for various reasons. If you go around badmouthing your old friend, you are the one who will look a jerk no matter what your friend did.  Remember, the bad-mouther always looks like the bad guy.  If you have mutual friends or acquaintances they will ask what happened and why aren’t you friends with so and so anymore. Here are a few good answers that let people know you have your reasons, but won’t give away too many details.

  1. Some people should come with warning labels.
  2. Cutting people out of my life does not mean I hate them, it just means I respect me.
  3. I usually give someone more chances than they deserve but once I’m done I’m done.
  4. When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.
  5. Every time you subtract a negative from your life you make room for more positive.
  6. You never know the quality of someone’s personality until the road gets rocky.
  7. Sometimes when things aren’t adding up in your life you need to start subtracting.
  8. If I cut someone off its because they handed me the scissors
  9. You become like the five people you spend the most time with. I need to choose wisely.
  10. Hard times will always reveal true friends.

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