What are you looking at?

what are you looking at

What can you say when someone says, “What are you looking at!” Here are a few funny comebacks that you might find useful. Vote for the best answer.

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What are you looking at?

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Will you marry me? – Funny Answers

will you marry me

What’s a good response when someone jokingly asks, ”Will you marry me?“ Of course it depends who asks, but go ahead, tell us what you think is the best comeback to this question.

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Wil you marry me?

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Top Ten Comebacks for a Know it All

top ten comebacks for a know it all
Top Ten Comebacks for Know it Alls 

We have all met them, the guy or girl who want stop talking and thinks that they know it all.  Whatever you say, they know better or claim they done better blah, blah, blah. Here is a top ten list of snappy comebacks that you can use on a know it all.
  1. Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.
  2. Since you know it all, you should know when to shut the f**k up.
  3. You would argue with a fence post.
  4. Being right isn’t nearly as important as knowing when to shut up.
  5. Rather than us agreeing to disagree why don’t you just be quiet.
  6. Try being informed instead of being opinionated.
  7. Everything we hear is an opinion not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective not a truth.
  8. Open your mind not your mouth.
  9. Since you know everything, then you know you’re an asshole.
  10. I didn’t realize you were an expert on my life and how I should live it!  Continue while I take notes.

Top Ten Comebacks for nagging wives and girlfriends

nagging wife or girlfriends

There is no doubt about it, nobody wants to listen to their nagging wife or girlfriend. Next time your partner is giving you a lecture or a hard time try some of these snappy comebacks. Say them in a joking way so you don’t get yourself into too much trouble!

Top ten comebacks for  your nagging wife or girlfriend

  1. You’re like a plunger; you keep bringing up old shit.
  2. Please be patient. I’m fucking things up as fast as I can.
  3. Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean you’re right.
  4. You go girl! And don’t comeback!
  5. I’m sorry was it my job to fill your life with joy today?
  6. No really, it’s adorable when you blame everyone but yourself.
  7. Just because your a drama queen doesn’t mean I am going to treat you like royalty.
  8. I’m going to need you to turn down your psycho a little bit.
  9. Getting in an argument with you is like getting arrested. Everything I say, can and will be used against me.
  10. No, you’re right, let’s do it the dumbest way possible because it’s easier for you.

Top ten comebacks for nosy people

top ten comebacks for nosy people

 

 

Top ten snappy comebacks for nosy people

Here are a few sarcastic zingers for the nosy people in your life. Maybe you will get lucky and they will mind their own business!

  1. Hey, I found your nose, it’s in my business again!
  2. Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.
  3. Oh I didn’t tell you. It must have been none of your business than.
  4. My life, my mistakes, my choices. Not your business!
  5. My business isn’t your business. Unless you’re my thong, don’t be up my ass.
  6. If you are going to have opinions about my life than I can assume you will be paying some of my bills.
  7. Oh, I didn’t realize you were an expert on my life. Continue while I take notes.
  8. It’s better to have your nose in a book than someone else’s business.
  9. Successful people never worry about what other people are doing.
  10. Mind your own problems before you talk about mine.

Just calm down! – Great comebacks

Just alm down

>Have you ever had an annoying friend or relative purposely get you all worked up and angry and then tell you to calm down? It’s annoying isn’t it! Here are some great comebacks for the next time the manipulator tries it on.

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Just calm down!

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Top ten comebacks for verbal bullies

top ten comebacks for verbal bullies

Top Ten Comebacks for Verbal Bullies

We all know someone who appears to be your friend, who smiles at you and then delivers a zinger of an insult, leaving you speechless.  What’s even worse, is they do it every time you see them, leaving you feeling ambushed once again by a nasty remark. These top ten comebacks for verbal bullies will let the person know that underneath their shiny facade, you know that their comments are truly rotten. So checking them out now arms you to talk back immediately next time. Remember it’s not what you say but how you say it, best to deliver these snappy remarks with a smile on your face.

  1. You’re equal opportunity. You’re nasty to everyone!
  2. If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I’d fart.
  3. You should do some soul-searching. Maybe you’ll find one.
  4. Do you always mask insults with humor?
  5. You would think with all of your multiple personalities, at least one would be likeable!
  6. You may die of constipation beccause you’re so full of shit!
  7. Who ate your bowl of sunshine this morning, thundercloud?
  8. I’m not saying your stupid, I’m just saying you have bad luck when it comes to thinking.
  9. I’m not a proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one.
  10. Before you judge me make sure you google yourself.

Top Ten Comebacks for Your Parents

top ten comebacks for parents

Parents can drive you crazy no matter how old you are!  Next time your mom or dad giving you a lecture or a hard time try some of these funny comebacks.  Say them in a joking way so you don’t get yourself into too much trouble!

Top Ten Comebacks for Parents

  1. You call it talking back. I call it explaining.
  2. I’m a liar? You were the one who told me about the tooth fairy, the Easter Bunny and Santa! -
  3. You say I’m lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.
  4. Getting in an argument with you is like getting arrested. Everything I say, can and will be used against me.
  5. Remember when I asked for your opinion. Me neither!
  6. My room isn’t dirty, I just have everything on display.
  7. I know money doesn’t grow on trees. That’s why I’m asking you.
  8. I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
  9. You’re one of  my favorite parents
  10. Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.

Top Ten Witty Comebacks for the Not so Bright

top ten comebacks for the not so bright

 

Top Ten Witty Comebacks for the Not so Bright

It’s not nice to be snarky to dim witted oblivious people, the only time it’s OK is if they have said something nasty to you first.  Here are ten comebacks for the village idiot.

  1. I can’t believe that out of 10,000 sperm, you were the quickest.
  2. Somewhere … there is a village being deprived of an idiot!
  3. He paid $500 to have his family tree searched, and found out he was the sap.
  4. A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind.
  5. Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
  6. You possess a mind not merely twisted, but actually sprained.
  7. If you’re gonna be a smart ass, first you have to be smart. Otherwise you’re just an ass.
  8. I think you’re acting like yesterday’s coffee, a little weak in the bean!
  9. Hey, your village called they want you back by 6 pm.
  10. Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but you abuse the privilege.

Top Ten Comebacks for Haters

top ten comebacks for haters

 

 

Top Ten Sarcastic Comebacks for Haters

  1. If I wanted to listen to an asshole I’d fart.
  2. I’m an aquired taste. Don’t like me, aquire some taste.
  3. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
  4. Acting like a dick wont make yours any bigger.
  5. Your ass must get jealous of all that shit that comes out of your mouth.
  6. Grab a straw because you suck.
  7. I guess if you spoke your mind, you’d be speechless.
  8. Jealously is a disease. Get well soon bitch.
  9. Trash talked by many. Hated by some. Guess how many fucks I give? It’s less than one.
  10. Haters gonna hate.