What to say when someone tries to make you feel guilty

guilt trip

People who engage emotional blackmail know exactly which buttons to press to make you feel guilty. Here are a few snappy comebacks in case you find yourself on the receiving end of a guilt trip.

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What to say when someone forces their religion on you

comebacks when someone forces their religion on you

Have you ever had someone try force their religion on you? They keep bringing religion up, not getting the hint that you’re not interested. Here are a few things you can say to get your point across loud and clear!

Let us know what you think is the best answer by voting for the poll below. If you can think of an even better comeback, then let us know!

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Comebacks for someone who always makes excuses

comebacks for someone who makes excuses1

Some people have an excuse for everything. Are you tired of someone in your life who’s constantly makes excuses for their behaviour? If you don’t want to hear lame excuses anymore, here are a few snappy comebacks you can say to shut the person up.

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Top ten comebacks for put downs

comebacks to put downs

Do you know someone who is always putting other people down? Next time they insult you, be ready for them by remembering one of these snappy comebacks.

  1. Those penis enlargement pills are working. You are twice the dick you were yesterday.
  2. I’d like to see your point of view but I can’t get my head that far up my ass.
  3. Oh, you think you know everything? Well here is something you don’t know, you’re annoying.
  4. If you have a problem with me, then cry me a river and drown yourself in it.
  5. You would be much more likeable if it wasn’t for that hole in your mouth that noise comes out of.
  6. I was going to give you a nasty look but I see that you already have one.
  7. I’d slap you but that would be animal abuse.
  8. In order for you to insult me I would have to value your opinion. Nice try though.
  9.  If you think you’re so hot, why don’t you go fuck yourself.
  10. I farted… that’s as close as you’re going to get to me giving a shit.

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Top Ten Comebacks for Bullies

comebacks for bullies

There is nothing worse than a bully; a bully is really a coward, who gangs up with others to torment people. May all the bad karma that bullies inflict on others come back and bite them in the ass.

  1. Too bad you can’t Photoshop your ugly personality.
  2. Thank you for your brilliant portrayal of a self centered asshole in the movie of my life.
  3. It’s impressive that you’re flexible enough to have your foot in your mouth and head up your ass at the same time.
  4. You should really come with a warning label.
  5. Breaking news just in: You’re an asshole!
  6. I finally got the last knife of the set you’ve been stabbing in my back all these years. Heads up: I re gift.
  7. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you a sociopath. I thought you already knew.
  8. Acting like a dick won’t make yours any bigger.
  9. Thanks for teaching me how sick and cruel a person can be.
  10. Since narcissistic is too big a word for you. How about asshole? Do you understand asshole?

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Top Ten Comebacks for Jerks

comebacks for jerks

We have all met a jerk who makes every situation difficult and  never sees that they are the problem. You don’t have to try to win over the haters; after all, you are not the jerk whisperer. If you get tired of putting up with the jerk and their nasty behavior, here are a few snappy comebacks to let them know they need to back off.

  1. Jesus loves you but everyone thinks you’re a jerk.
  2. Oh, I heard you. I just don’t care.
  3. Remember that time you shut the f*uck up? Me neither
  4. The jerk store called, they’re running out of you.
  5. I would love to insult you but I’m afraid I wouldn’t do as well as nature did.
  6. You’re the reason nobody likes you.
  7. You’re like a hemorrhoid, a pain the ass who won’t go away.
  8. Your dick belongs in your pants, not your personality.
  9. I love the sound you make when you shut up.
  10. How can I miss you if you won’t go away?

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You’re such a bragger – Snappy Comebacks

you are a bragger

What’s a good answer when some jerk says to you, Stop bragging?“  How you answer of course it depends on who’s says it, and how they say it. Below are some snappy comeback to shut the smart ass up. Go ahead, and vote for the best answer. If you can think of an even better comeback, then let us know!

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What to say when someone asks why you ended a friendship

Why aren’t you friends anymore?

At some point in your life you may need to move on from a friend for various reasons. If you go around badmouthing your old friend, you are the one who will look a jerk no matter what your friend did.  Remember, the bad-mouther always looks like the bad guy.  If you have mutual friends or acquaintances they will ask what happened and why aren’t you friends with so and so anymore. Here are a few good answers that let people know you have your reasons, but won’t give away too many details.

  1. Some people should come with warning labels.
  2. Cutting people out of my life does not mean I hate them, it just means I respect me.
  3. I usually give someone more chances than they deserve but once I’m done I’m done.
  4. When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.
  5. Every time you subtract a negative from your life you make room for more positive.
  6. You never know the quality of someone’s personality until the road gets rocky.
  7. Sometimes when things aren’t adding up in your life you need to start subtracting.
  8. If I cut someone off its because they handed me the scissors
  9. You become like the five people you spend the most time with. I need to choose wisely.
  10. Hard times will always reveal true friends.

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Top Ten Comebacks for People who Keep bothering You

stop bothering me

Top Ten Comebacks for People who Keep bothering You

Dealing with annoying people is an inevitable part of life.There will be times you need to stand up for yourself and times when it is better to walk away, after all you don’t have to attend every argument you are invited to. Here are some snappy comebacks to let the person know you just want to be left alone.

  1. Please do not disturb I am disturbed enough already.
  2. Please don’t interrupt me while I’m ignoring you.
  3. How do I block you in real life?
  4. You’re like a hemorrhoid, a pain the ass who won’t go away.
  5. If I throw a stick, will you go away?
  6. No…you’re not bothering me. In fact, I stopped listening to you about 10 minutes ago!
  7. You go girl! And don’t comeback!
  8. Don’t think of it as good bye. Think of it as a chance to stop bothering me.
  9. Go away, I’m too sober to deal with you.
  10. Please go away I’m introverting.

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It’s your fault! – Funny Comebacks

it's your fault

Have you ever had someone blame you for their own limitations?  It is always easier to blame other people than take responsibility for your own life. There is a funny quote. “I didn’t say it was your fault. I just said I was going to blame you!”

Here are some snappy comebacks when you get tired of blamed for things that are obviously not your fault.

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It's your fault!

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